A Series of Unfortunate Sonnets: The Reptile Room

Upon my first true reread of the series (I have not reread the entire series all in one go), I endeavour to write A Series of Unfortunate Sonnets: one sonnet written for each book. The sonnets will probably be rubbish (you could even say unfortunate), but nonetheless, it will be an experiment of my creativity. With thirteen chapters + a letter to the editor (explaining how to get the manuscript for each book), within thirteen books + follow up, a fourteen lined sonnet seems like the fitting form to adopt.

The Reptile Room

You have been cautioned to put the book down
Maybe you should forget this poem too.
Find a sonnet that brings smiles, not frowns.
Find something better (anything!) to do.

The Reptile Man. Had snakes of all kinds –
Ones that cuddled, stunk, ones that were hairy!
The perfect guardian one could find,
Oh poor Montgomery Montgomery –

Of course met his timely death, a plot of
Olaf’s. Once more the orphans were orphaned
Gone the days of coconut cake and love.
Tragic as his death was, heed this caution:

As the orphan’s looked back at the glasshouse,
“There’s no end to this sorrow” muttered Klaus. 

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